Marriage is not a Competition


    Today, my husband and I travelled up to Kansas City with our best friends up to the LDS Temple to do an early morning session. It had been a while since we had been up there to participate in temple work – with his hectic business schedule and 5 young children, we’re often limited. But with a tired, overworked husband (and business owner) and exhausted wife and stay at home mom, we felt very strongly that we needed to be on the temple grounds, spending time together. When life becomes strenuous, we seem to forget the importance of our time with our spouses, and our focus on them becomes less and less…and the marriage suffers.¬†Tonight, my husband wrote this breathtaking post on Facebook that I would love to share. I not only agree with it, but it’s something us spouses need to be reiterating to ourselves every single day. Because marriage isn’t a competition. It’s not a way to compare who’s doing more or pointing out faults. It’s about lifting each other up and serving without expecting anything in return. And let’s face it…marriage isn’t easy. But it’s worth it!

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    “Marriage is not a competition. It is not a contest of wit and skill. There is no prize for being the better spouse. To exalt and elevate yourself, you must first put down the other.

    Marriage is sacrifice. It is unconditional love. It is placing another’s needs before your own. It is exalting and elevating your spouse. Give everything you have and everything you are to them without expecting anything in return.

    When this is done a beautiful thing happens. Two people become more that what they were capable of being by themselves. By elevating and exalting each other they are left with more than either could of possibly obtained on their own.

    marriage coupon friendlyHusbands we must not expect and demand our wives serve us. Instead we should think of nothing but how we may serve and do more for our wives. When our wives respond in kind we will find that all of the things that needed to be accomplished where accomplished without fighting, without let down, and without frustration.

    There seems to be in my observation a fear that if one spouse does all the work they will have no time to do what they want to do. So both spouses end up doing the bare minimum require to appease the other. Relying on preconceived definitions of who’s responsibility chores and task should fall to. And once finished with their check list they are free to do as they wish regardless of mishaps or setbacks the other may have experienced in their tasks.

    This is not the case. At what point did we decide that we’ve worked hard enough and that our spouse should do the rest. This view is 100% selfish. And there is NO room in a healthy marriage for selfishness.

    Instead we should strive to do all we can do for our spouse until there is nothing left to do. When both partners give 100% they will find that they received far more than 100% back. Then both may enjoy the time remaining doing those things they enjoy doing together and on their own with out hurt, frustration, jealousy, or sadness. Feeling instead companionship, love, and joy at a job well done, a day conquered, a relationship strengthened, and a spouse served.

    There is no greater happiness that a husband can feel than comes from a gratitude and appreciation of a loving and thankful wife. Thankful that her husband, her knight in shinning armor was willing to dirty his hands and exhaust his energy to lighten her burdens.”


    Truer words have never been spoken! Marriage is 100/100 – not 50/50!

    Do you agree? What do you think? Let us know in the comments below! And if you liked this article, be sure to share it with your friends!


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